A Touch Mortal Read online

  “There,” she said handing it back. “Maybe sometime we can go for the least expensive thing on the menu.”

  He laughed, tucking the phone away. “You buying that round?” She rolled her eyes.

  He reached for her, his hand cupping around the back of her neck, easing her toward him. Eden’s heart jumped at the sudden touch of his fingers. She closed her eyes, her body rocking forward, anticipating the kiss.

  It never came. She opened her eyes, and he pulled back another inch, face lit up with his smile. “I’ll call you soon, okay?” he said, and turned away without another word.

  Eden stepped back, the railing hitting her spine. She tried to find a snappy comeback but nothing came quick enough as he retreated into the crowd. Who pays for dinner and then just bolts? She couldn’t figure it out. And then pulling out of a kiss he initiated? Who the hell was this guy?

  Her cell phone rang. She yanked it from her pocket, taking a second to check the caller ID before she put it to her ear. The number wasn’t one in her call list.

  “Just wanted to make sure the number wasn’t a fake,” Az said.

  She couldn’t help her bitter laugh. “Well, you can go ahead and erase it. A bit of advice? Either kiss a girl or don’t. Never stop halfway through.” She pulled the phone away, her finger already heading for the End button when his voice came through the speaker.

  “Didn’t want to risk it.”

  She lifted the phone again. “Risk kissing me? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Had to leave you wanting more. That way you’ll say yes when I ask you out again.”

  A thrill passed through her, the same she’d felt on the beach. But she kept a flicker of sarcasm in her voice. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that, right?”

  He laughed before his voice grew serious. “You do something to me.” She heard his pause as he struggled for words. “It kinda freaks me out a bit. But I like it.”

  Her breath seemed to stall before she found it again. “Me too.”

  “Plus, if you see me again? I can almost guarantee I’ll kiss you,” he added.

  “If I let you,” she teased.

  “Hey now,” he said, sounding hurt. “Be fair. I earned it. That was an expensive lobster.”

  She burst out laughing. “My kisses don’t come cheap, lover boy, but they are very worth it.” She snapped the phone shut. Always leave them wanting more, she thought smiling. She’d have to thank him for the advice.

  CHAPTER 3

  He’s kissing a dead girl. Gabriel dove again as a wave crashed against his back, letting the momentum carry him a few feet closer to the shore. On the beach, Eden and Az were on a blanket, tangled around each other. You have to tell him, Gabriel thought.

  “But she’s not dead yet,” he grated out in a harsh whisper.

  Even now her laughter mixed with the crash of the ocean. He twisted sideways as another swell pounded past and she waved at him as if she’d never been happier to be alive. Gabriel forced his hand up, rocked it once before letting it drop back to the water, and waded to shore.

  Where is she hiding it? he thought. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Would she fade into skin and bones, die from the inside first? He had no clue what a girl was supposed to look like before she killed herself. She was going to sooner or later, of that much Gabriel was certain.

  He dropped onto the blanket and toweled off. He should have told Az the second he’d gotten back from Upstairs. He’d put off checking her path too long anyway. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Az so happy, not having to struggle against the Fall. He couldn’t deny it had to do with Eden. And now it was all going to end.

  Eden grinned. Her skin glistened with sunscreen, tan and healthier than she’d looked two weeks ago. Summer was almost gone.

  “Gonna come with us?” she asked. “We’re getting something to eat.”

  Gabriel shook his head.

  She leaned toward him, her voice falling to a conspiratorial whisper. “We can check out the hot boys in the arcade?”

  He couldn’t meet her eyes. Scoping out boys on the boardwalk, after Az had fallen asleep, even the stupid judge shows they hated to love. Everything would eventually be labeled “the last time.” He couldn’t bring himself to start counting down yet. Telling Az would be terrible enough. “I’m suffering from a lack of awesome today. Think I’ll sit out this time.”

  Eden groaned in mock frustration, scooting away. “Ugh! You’re killing me, Gabe!” He startled before he could stop himself.

  “Everything okay?” Az asked.

  Gabriel forced himself to meet Az’s eyes.

  “Can you give us a minute? I’ll text you when I’m on my way, okay?” He wasn’t sure what Az saw, what he gave away, but it was enough.

  Az reached for her hand, led her a few steps away. From behind him, Gabriel heard the soft sound of their kiss, broken fragments of her concern for him.

  Gabriel kept his head hung when Az dropped onto the blanket next to him, face hidden behind his blond curls. For once he was glad he’d let them shag out, though he’d spent the last month bitching about the lack of New York–quality stylists.

  “What’s up?” Az asked, pulling up his knees, throwing an arm out behind him for balance.

  Gabriel raised his head, staring off into the water, eyes focused far past the horizon. The knot of dread tightened in his stomach.

  “I went Upstairs last night.” He turned toward Az as he spoke, watching for the reaction. A shiver passed across Az’s shoulders.

  Az forced his face into a mask of nonchalance. “You didn’t mention you were going Upstairs.”

  “Because it bothers you,” Gabriel said quietly.

  Az scoffed. “You’re Bound. I’m not. I hardly think of that place at all.” His voice stayed casual, but the rest of him failed miserably. He blinked hard, as if it would be enough to hide the rusted tinge to his irises, the anger turning their color. His shoulders were rigid, his hands clenched into fists.

  Gabriel turned back to the water. “Az, it’s about Eden.”

  “No!” Az jumped to his feet. “This time is different! I can feel it, Gabriel. I don’t care what she was supposed to be doing.” People were staring, Frisbees falling forgotten. Gabriel felt sick. Az had never shown up on a mortal’s path. Every relationship he’d been in, he’d been crushed when the girl left him, going back to the path she was meant to be traveling. Only twice had they not. Luke had gotten to them first.

  Gabriel bit his lip, hoping the pain would keep the tears unshed. He wouldn’t let that happen. “Az, it’s worse.” His vision blurred. “She’s…”

  “What do you mean ‘worse’?”

  “She has no path.” Gabriel said quietly. The words crackled in the air between them. Out on the water a gull screamed. The color drained from Az’s face, his shoulders dropping.

  “You made a mistake, then,” Az said. “Just because she doesn’t have a path doesn’t mean—”

  Gabriel cut him off with a shake of his head. “You know what it means.” He stayed silent as anguish flooded Az’s face.

  “Eden’s not one of them. She’s not a Sider.” Az glared, no longer repressing the red flare in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry.” It was all Gabriel could think of to say. He focused on the corner of the blanket, peeling it back. Underneath, the sand was cool and damp against his fingers.

  “You knew,” Az spat. Gabriel looked up in surprise.

  “No, Az. I swear.”

  “So, what? We came all the way to fucking Jersey to get away from your obsession with the Suiciders and you just happened to stumble on her?” He drew a breath, choked the words out between clenched teeth. “You pointed her out to me. Did you set me up?”

  “I didn’t know. She was so sad. I thought you would cheer her up, but then…” His mouth dropped open as the realization hit him. “Oh, God. She was planning it out.”

  “What are you talking about?”

 
“The night we met her, I caught her thoughts.” He swallowed hard. “It was like she was screaming for help. I figured she was just depressed but, Az, I think she was deciding to do it. To kill herself.”

  “Maybe we just changed what was supposed to happen? So she was suicidal. She’s not now. We saved her.”

  “If she was killing herself she’d still have a path. That’s a mortal death.” Gabriel glanced up. “Without a path, there’s nothing to change. Maybe we’ve delayed it, but it’s her fate, Az.”

  Gabriel caught the change in Az’s eyes even before his breathing went shallow, was on his feet when the color of his eyes shifted to bruised purple. Only half Fallen, Az struggled to keep from going full. The prospect of losing Eden had tipped him, darkened his thoughts.

  “Did I do this? Did I mess up her path?” Az stopped dead, his sudden stillness disconcerting.

  Gabriel softened his voice. “Of course not. This isn’t your fault.” Az knew a Bound angel couldn’t lie, but when he looked up his eyes hadn’t lightened.

  “What if me being with her took her off?”

  “You can’t affect paths that way. It’s impossible.”

  “A Sider.” Gabriel heard the change in Az’s voice. “She has no path.” He paused. “So I’m not taking her away from anything. That’s why she hasn’t left me. Right?”

  Gabriel winced.

  “And when she becomes a Sider, we can be together.”

  Gabriel forced a deep breath, wishing the salty air would dry him out inside, make this hurt less. “This isn’t a good thing, Az.”

  “Why not?” The ache in his voice was painful to hear. “I think I love her, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to. I know it puts her in danger, but I can’t lose her. She makes me happy.”

  Gabriel managed a smile. “I know.” He hesitated, not wanting to set Az off again.

  “Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?” Az asked. “To find a Sider that hadn’t gone through the change yet?”

  Gabriel followed his lead, changing the subject. “Well, yes. But not Eden. I don’t want her to be a Sider at all.” He yanked his hand through his hair, the blond curls springing back into place. “They’re cursed.”

  “You’re sure there’s no way to stop it?” Az asked. He turned, searching the boardwalk above for Eden.

  “I don’t think so.” Gabriel rubbed his temples. The throbbing there was getting worse by the second. “What are we gonna do? We can’t do this by ourselves. The Bound don’t know about the Siders, so I can’t consult Upstairs.”

  “Kristen?”

  Gabriel’s mouth opened, a dozen protests clustering before he closed it. The idea wasn’t entirely bad. Still, Az’s reply had been more question than answer, and with good reason. Kristen was one of the first Suiciders. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t help; she owed him more favors than Az would ever know. The problem was, well, it was Kristen. Worse, she was the best option.

  “I’ll head to the Bronx tomorrow. See what she says.”

  CHAPTER 4

  Az opened the door to the hotel room. One glance at Eden as she entered and his expression shifted to sympathy.

  “No license?”

  “My mom forgot the fucking appointment.” She caught his hand as she passed, both of them plopping down on the bed. “Then we finally got there and I didn’t even get to take the test!” Eden’s shoulders slumped. “My Social Security number wasn’t in the system. They couldn’t pull up my file.”

  She’s already disappearing, he thought, trying to keep his emotions under control. So far it’d been easy to hide his eyes. He knew they’d be a paler blue today, but doubted she’d notice. He moved behind her on the bed just in case, rubbing her shoulders. “You can go back when they figure it out, right? That’s not so bad.”

  She’d never get her license. It was such a small thing, yet meant so much to her. He leaned over her shoulder, kissing her neck. So many things she’d be missing out on. But she’ll have me, he reminded himself. “And I’m within walking distance.”

  “True.” She closed her eyes, leaning into him. “It’s just, I know you and Gabe are only here for the summer. I wanna be able to come see you in New York.”

  He sensed her hesitation, draped his arms over her shoulders, and hugged her. They hadn’t talked about what would happen when summer ended. He murmured her name, ran a hand down her cheek. “We’ll get you to New York safe. I promise.”

  He pressed his lips together before he gave away too much, but she only nodded, breaking into a smile. How many more did she have before the depression took over, stripped them away from her? Would she be the same when she became a Sider?

  Would she still love him?

  “You’re staring at me,” she said. He didn’t answer, pulling her with him as he leaned back on the bed. Everything about her felt numbered. He kissed her hard, his lips greedy. He wanted her, the need hitting him in a rush. Wanted her now, while she was mortal.

  His lips wandered down her neck, across her collarbone, her breath coming faster as he followed the curve of her tank top down. Her fingers grabbed suddenly at the bottom of his shirt, lifting. He rolled onto his back, stifling a groan, knowing he’d killed the moment. Again.

  “Tease.” She smacked his chest. The playfulness dropped from her tone. “Why do you always pull away?” Eden asked.

  He moved carefully, adjusting until he leaned against the headboard.

  “You’re right,” he said. His fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt. He could tell her. Explain. “I do pull away.”

  “Are we going too fast?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s not that at all, trust me.” The bed creaked as she crawled closer, laying her head on his chest. His arm curled around her.

  “Then what is it?” she whispered.

  He tipped her head up, stole another kiss. “It’s not you.”

  “Jesus, I hate it when you pull this shit.” She made for the edge of the bed, but he grabbed her shoulder. She turned on him, her eyes blazing. “One minute you’re feeding me lines about seeing you in New York, and the next you act like you don’t even want me to touch you.”

  Part of him wondered if it was just the depression, if this would be the moment it shifted, took over. You’re going to lose her. The thought dug in, even as he tried to push it away.

  She yanked her hand away. “I need to know what’s going to happen when summer ends. I need to know if this is just a temporary thing for you.”

  “Oh, God, Eden, no!” He reached for her hand again. This time she let him take it. “This isn’t ‘temporary’ for me. It never has been.”

  Her eyes flicked away. “Because I love you,” she said. She swallowed hard. It was the first time she’d been so blatant. The same quicksilver happiness coated his insides, whisking away the dark thought, but his smile was because of her alone.

  “I love you, too, Eden.” He wanted to say it again, loving the sound of her name paired with those words, knowing how true they were.

  “Then what’s wrong? Tell me.” She squeezed his hand, leaning forward, tucking her head against his neck. He closed his eyes, knowing his fear would stain them yellow.

  “Just…don’t freak out, okay?” He raised her from his shoulder, caught her gaze for a split second before he lifted his shirt over his head.

  “What’s wrong with your eyes?” she asked quietly. He didn’t answer, couldn’t look at her as he began slowly unwinding the ace bandage around his chest. “Az?”

  “So, usually I get one of two reactions,” he said, his voice quaking. He pulled off all but the last loop of material and glanced up. “I blame the corsets for the fainters. They wore them so tight…couldn’t breathe right. But they’ve been out of style for centuries, so I think we’re good on that one.”

  “Centuries?” Her voice had gone up an octave. “What’s wrong with your eyes?” she demanded.

  “They turn yellow when I’m scared,” he said, keeping his voice as calm as he could manage.
r />   “Scared?” She was still talking. So far, so good. But he knew what he showed her next would be enough to send any mortal over the edge. She’s different, he promised himself.

  He dropped the last of the bandages. His cramped muscles begged to stretch but he did his best to hold them tight.

  “Yeah, scared.” He climbed off the bed, backing away to the middle of the room. “The screaming I can handle. Being called a devil, a witch, a freak. No big deal. But what will happen to me if you decide you don’t love me anymore?”

  “Az, you better tell me what you’re talking about because you are freaking me out.” She’d risen onto her knees, her hands held in front of her, eyes darting to the door and back. He didn’t dare move. “Az?”

  He heard the fear in her voice, knew every moment he drew this out would make it worse. His head dropped as he forced himself to roll his shoulders, the wings uncurling from their cavity behind his rib cage. When he flexed them out, all fourteen feet of the atrocious things spanned the room. Joints at odd angles, so they folded in like a pterodactyl, feathers layered across the skin. Nothing about them was beautiful. They were a punishment.

  “I’m a fucking angel, Eden.” A feathered tip brushed the TV stand, knocking an open can of soda to the carpet. Her silence was worse than any screaming.

  He closed his eyes, trying to keep calm, keep under control. His cell phone was in his pocket. If things went bad, if he felt tempted to Fall, one phone call and Gabriel could get there in seconds.

  An unsure giggle broke from the bed, building into a laugh. His eyes shot up, found her doubled over on the covers. His wings lifted, the feathers rustling quietly in his confusion.

  “So lame!” She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes, trying to get her giggling under control. “And you owe me a Coke, too!” she said, pointing to the can, the liquid soaking into the carpet.